patterns, stories and questions

YOU ARE THE PRODUCT OF PATTERNS, STORIES AND QUESTIONS.

Your mind is an amazing thing. We all have the power to create our reality and this is done by the way we use our thinking and our behaviours.

In fact, our current reality is the result of just 3 things:

🔷 Our patterns, little things repeated often, have a powerful impact.
🔷 The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about events powerfully shape our reality.
🔷 The questions we ask. Questions are both useful and dangerous. The power of a question is that it points our mind in a certain direction. Whatever we ask, there our thinking will go AND our mind won’t challenge the wisdom of our direction or doubt its ability to answer.

So what are your Patterns, Stories and Questions? Are they serving you in creating the reality that you want?

  • YOU ARE THE PRODUCT OF PATTERNS, STORIES AND QUESTIONS.

    Your mind is an amazing thing. We all have the power to create our reality and this is done by the way we use our thinking and our behaviours.

    In fact, our current reality is the result of just 3 things:

    🔷 Our patterns, little things repeated often, have a powerful impact.
    🔷 The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and about events powerfully shape our reality.
    🔷 The questions we ask. Questions are both useful and dangerous. The power of a question is that it points our mind in a certain direction. Whatever we ask, there our thinking will go AND our mind won’t challenge the wisdom of our direction or doubt its ability to answer.

    So what are your Patterns, Stories and Questions? Are they serving you in creating the reality that you want?

your life's garden

THE SOIL OF THE MIND, THE SEEDS OF OUR THOUGHTS AND THE WATER OF OUR WORDS... THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT GROW OUR LIFE'S GARDEN

If it is so, “The soil of the mind, the seeds of our thoughts and the water of our words… it is these things that grow your life's garden”, then how important is it for us to pay attention to what we put our attention on? Whatever we pay attention to, we will get more of.

This applies whether you’re talking to a staff member, a child or yourself. Whatever you think and talk about will grow.

So, if you catch yourself thinking or talking about what you DON’T like, what are some of the things you can do to divert attention to what you DO want? It’s your life – plant the flowers – pull the weeds.

  • THE SOIL OF THE MIND, THE SEEDS OF OUR THOUGHTS AND THE WATER OF OUR WORDS... THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT GROW OUR LIFE'S GARDEN

    If it is so, “The soil of the mind, the seeds of our thoughts and the water of our words… it is these things that grow your life's garden”, then how important is it for us to pay attention to what we put our attention on? Whatever we pay attention to, we will get more of.

    This applies whether you’re talking to a staff member, a child or yourself. Whatever you think and talk about will grow.

    So, if you catch yourself thinking or talking about what you DON’T like, what are some of the things you can do to divert attention to what you DO want? It’s your life – plant the flowers – pull the weeds.

change your mind and your life will follow

CHANGE YOUR MIND ... YOUR LIFE WILL FOLLOW

Ever changed your mind? What happened when you did?
❓ What would happen if you changed your mind about you.
❓ What would happen if you changed your mind about what you believe is possible?
❓ Anything else you could change your mind about?

✅ The answer is here: change your mind and your life will follow.

The implication is…if you want to change something in your life, make sure you notice what is in your mind and change that first. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

  • CHANGE YOUR MIND ... YOUR LIFE WILL FOLLOW

    Ever changed your mind? What happened when you did?
    ❓ What would happen if you changed your mind about you.
    ❓ What would happen if you changed your mind about what you believe is possible?
    ❓ Anything else you could change your mind about?

    ✅ The answer is here: change your mind and your life will follow.

    The implication is…if you want to change something in your life, make sure you notice what is in your mind and change that first. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

little things repeated often create results

LITTLE THINGS REPEATED OFTEN CREATE RESULTS

Little actions repeated often do create powerful results. Why might this be so? It is because this is the way we create strong pathways in the brain. After repeating an action consistently for some time, you know what happens? It becomes a habit.

I love habits – the good ones – cos they are effortless and require no thought at all to happen automatically; like for most of us putting on our seat-belt when we get in the car. In fact, not to do a habit requires effort.

Ever been in a car where the indicators are on the opposite side? How hard is it to not automatically turn the wipers on.

  • LITTLE THINGS REPEATED OFTEN CREATE RESULTS

    Little actions repeated often do create powerful results. Why might this be so? It is because this is the way we create strong pathways in the brain. After repeating an action consistently for some time, you know what happens? It becomes a habit.

    I love habits – the good ones – cos they are effortless and require no thought at all to happen automatically; like for most of us putting on our seat-belt when we get in the car. In fact, not to do a habit requires effort.

    Ever been in a car where the indicators are on the opposite side? How hard is it to not automatically turn the wipers on.

Change the world

YOU CAN NOT NOT CHANGE THE WORLD. HOW... YOU CHOOSE

By our very presence on this planet, we impact and influence others around us.

Sometimes it is subtle and unintentional. Yet, other times our influence is powerful and deliberate.

Nevertheless, our presence changes others, and they change others and they in turn change others.

🔷TEST IT ‘you can not NOT influence’.

✉️ My invitation is to consciously choose how you will do so.

  • YOU CAN NOT NOT CHANGE THE WORLD. HOW... YOU CHOOSE

    By our very presence on this planet, we impact and influence others around us.

    Sometimes it is subtle and unintentional. Yet, other times our influence is powerful and deliberate.

    Nevertheless, our presence changes others, and they change others and they in turn change others.

    🔷TEST IT ‘you can not NOT influence’.

    ✉️ My invitation is to consciously choose how you will do so.

PURPOSE IN LIFE

YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO BE YOU, GENTLY AND COURAGEOUSLY

So many people ask, “What is the purpose of life?”, or ‘What is my purpose in life?”. To me this is a no-brainer. We can live and I get to live it being ‘me’. That’s it! BUT, I add this extra thing, ‘gently and courageously’. Yes, your purpose is to live life being you… gently and courageously.

Why do you think it takes gentleness? Because we are immersed in a society that is always evaluating and measuring against “enough-ness”. Is this ‘good enough?’.

You have heard that question once or twice in life, yes? We absorb this judgmental way of being – thank you good old mirror neurons – and we can be very hard on ourselves.

And why courageously? I have found it has taken gutsy-ness to say “I am good enough for me” even when others are saying I or my work is not enough for them.

When this happens, I tell myself “let you be enough for you so you can model that for others”. AND…THAT takes courage.

  • YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO BE YOU, GENTLY AND COURAGEOUSLY

    So many people ask, “What is the purpose of life?”, or ‘What is my purpose in life?”. To me this is a no-brainer. We can live and I get to live it being ‘me’. That’s it! BUT, I add this extra thing, ‘gently and courageously’. Yes, your purpose is to live life being you… gently and courageously.

    Why do you think it takes gentleness? Because we are immersed in a society that is always evaluating and measuring against “enough-ness”. Is this ‘good enough?’.

    You have heard that question once or twice in life, yes? We absorb this judgmental way of being – thank you good old mirror neurons – and we can be very hard on ourselves.

    And why courageously? I have found it has taken gutsy-ness to say “I am good enough for me” even when others are saying I or my work is not enough for them.

    When this happens, I tell myself “let you be enough for you so you can model that for others”. AND…THAT takes courage.

in the universe we are just children

WE ARE JUST CHILDREN

GO GENTLY AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
IN THE UNIVERSE WE ARE JUST CHILDREN.

How do you treat children, especially when you see them learning a new skill or going out of their comfort zone? Are we harsh and critical, or patient and encouraging – cheering them on? I know which way I choose as I stop and think about it.

That is us, you know. When you allow your mind to stretch across time and space and all the knowledge and happenings that have happened in the whole universe, we are just children.

Makes sense then, when considering our efforts or the efforts of others, to remember we are just children and we can all do with a bit of cheering each other on.

  • WE ARE JUST CHILDREN

    GO GENTLY AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS.
    IN THE UNIVERSE WE ARE JUST CHILDREN.

    How do you treat children, especially when you see them learning a new skill or going out of their comfort zone? Are we harsh and critical, or patient and encouraging – cheering them on? I know which way I choose as I stop and think about it.

    That is us, you know. When you allow your mind to stretch across time and space and all the knowledge and happenings that have happened in the whole universe, we are just children.

    Makes sense then, when considering our efforts or the efforts of others, to remember we are just children and we can all do with a bit of cheering each other on.

you can't get life wrong

YOU CAN'T GET LIFE WRONG

LIFE... YOU CAN'T GET IT WRONG, UNLESS YOU'RE TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT

When we ‘TRY’, we create tension for ourselves. ‘Try’ is an experience in the brain where we expect it to be hard and doubt that we will get the results we want. Test it out. Stand up, walk to the other side of the room and notice how easy it is. Now ask yourself to ‘TRY’ and stand and ‘TRY’ to walk etc. You see the difference. AND, when we try to ‘get it right’, we’re focusing on the result, which will have many outside influences that we can’t control.
It’s like saying, ‘I want to create good weather’. We can’t. We can say, ‘I want to have good preparation to respond to the weather’. See the difference?

  • YOU CAN'T GET LIFE WRONG

    LIFE... YOU CAN'T GET IT WRONG, UNLESS YOU'RE TRYING TO GET IT RIGHT

    When we ‘TRY’, we create tension for ourselves. ‘Try’ is an experience in the brain where we expect it to be hard and doubt that we will get the results we want. Test it out. Stand up, walk to the other side of the room and notice how easy it is. Now ask yourself to ‘TRY’ and stand and ‘TRY’ to walk etc. You see the difference. AND, when we try to ‘get it right’, we’re focusing on the result, which will have many outside influences that we can’t control.
    It’s like saying, ‘I want to create good weather’. We can’t. We can say, ‘I want to have good preparation to respond to the weather’. See the difference?

time and resources

TIME & RESOURCES

IT'S NOT ABOUT HAVING 'TIME' OR 'RESOURCES.
IT'S ABOUT ENJOYING BEING YOU WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.

Do you ever hear anyone say, “when I have …(insert required resource here) then I will be able to… (insert desired activity or goal here)”?

OR ever hear anyone say, “when I have the time ….”? Or an even stranger thing to say, “I will have to make the time to …”.

No one can ‘make time’; that makes it sound like you can make time like you can make a cake. Time just is. Some say “We all have the same time. It is how you use it’.
I don’t think so. I say it again, “time is”. What we have to use is not ‘time’, but ‘life’.

Now, I know we have things we want to do and create, or get while we are alive. I get that. But why wait till we have the resources we need to enjoy living – and more importantly – to enjoy being you.

I commit to ‘enjoy being me’ in 3 ways today:
🔹 I marvel at how I overcome barriers,
🔹 tell myself ‘that’s a beautiful thing you do’ and
🔹 giggle if I mess-up, cos I know that’s just for learning.

What about you?

  • TIME & RESOURCES

    IT'S NOT ABOUT HAVING 'TIME' OR 'RESOURCES.
    IT'S ABOUT ENJOYING BEING YOU WITH WHAT YOU HAVE.

    Do you ever hear anyone say, “when I have …(insert required resource here) then I will be able to… (insert desired activity or goal here)”?

    OR ever hear anyone say, “when I have the time ….”? Or an even stranger thing to say, “I will have to make the time to …”.

    No one can ‘make time’; that makes it sound like you can make time like you can make a cake. Time just is. Some say “We all have the same time. It is how you use it’.
    I don’t think so. I say it again, “time is”. What we have to use is not ‘time’, but ‘life’.

    Now, I know we have things we want to do and create, or get while we are alive. I get that. But why wait till we have the resources we need to enjoy living – and more importantly – to enjoy being you.

    I commit to ‘enjoy being me’ in 3 ways today:
    🔹 I marvel at how I overcome barriers,
    🔹 tell myself ‘that’s a beautiful thing you do’ and
    🔹 giggle if I mess-up, cos I know that’s just for learning.

    What about you?

stay focused on what you are achieving

STAY FOCUSED

STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU ARE ACHIEVING. THERE ARE INFINITE WAYS WHEN YOU REMAIN FLEXIBLE.

Remembering a few years ago when technology has been challenging. I got caught up in getting the computers to work and my frustrations grew.

I forgot it is just one tool for ‘WHAT’ I want to do – post something inspiring and encouraging for you.

The funny thing is, even with all the computer glitches, I was still finding ‘WAYS’ to do the posts. I’ve let go of that now. Phew! That feels better.

Back to present time, is there something in your life where you can shift your focus to what you want and why it’s important?

  • STAY FOCUSED

    STAY FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU ARE ACHIEVING. THERE ARE INFINITE WAYS WHEN YOU REMAIN FLEXIBLE.

    Remembering a few years ago when technology has been challenging. I got caught up in getting the computers to work and my frustrations grew.

    I forgot it is just one tool for ‘WHAT’ I want to do – post something inspiring and encouraging for you.

    The funny thing is, even with all the computer glitches, I was still finding ‘WAYS’ to do the posts. I’ve let go of that now. Phew! That feels better.

    Back to present time, is there something in your life where you can shift your focus to what you want and why it’s important?

Two Certainties In Life

TWO CERTAINTIES IN LIFE

TWO CERTAINTIES IN LIFE: 'NOW' AND 'CHANGE'. SO WHATEVER YOUR ARE DOING NOW, CELEBRATE OR RELAX! 'COS IT WILL CHANGE

Doesn’t that suggestion make you SMILE? Whatever you are doing, whatever is going on right now, celebrate or relax….cos it is only for now and it is going to change. These are the two certainties in life: now and change. Whatever is happening is only for now – that means life too.

Life only happens in the now. If you are liking what is happening now, celebrate cos it is going to pass; appreciate it while it is now. BUT if things are not as you would wish, relax cos it is going to pass

  • TWO CERTAINTIES IN LIFE

    TWO CERTAINTIES IN LIFE: 'NOW' AND 'CHANGE'. SO WHATEVER YOUR ARE DOING NOW, CELEBRATE OR RELAX! 'COS IT WILL CHANGE

    Doesn’t that suggestion make you SMILE? Whatever you are doing, whatever is going on right now, celebrate or relax….cos it is only for now and it is going to change. These are the two certainties in life: now and change. Whatever is happening is only for now – that means life too.

    Life only happens in the now. If you are liking what is happening now, celebrate cos it is going to pass; appreciate it while it is now. BUT if things are not as you would wish, relax cos it is going to pass

guard your thinking

GUARD YOUR THINKING

'YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST THOUGHT. GUARD YOUR THINKING WELL"

Imagine hearing, “I just drank a cup of poison and I feel sick. I don’t understand, I have been caring for my health so well. I have been taking supplements for years and now I drink this poison and I still get sick. How can that be possible?”

How would you respond? Poison is poison and will always have the same effect no matter how much you have cared for yourself up til that point. This is the same with our thoughts.

Some thoughts are deadly dangerous poison. Can you think of some? No matter how much personal work you do, in your reality you are always only as good as your very last thought.

You can’t afford to indulge in dangerous thinking that undermines your self-worth.

I encourage you to… keep a careful watch on your thoughts about yourself and others. You must guard your thinking well and that will never change.

  • GUARD YOUR THINKING

    'YOU ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS YOUR LAST THOUGHT. GUARD YOUR THINKING WELL"

    Imagine hearing, “I just drank a cup of poison and I feel sick. I don’t understand, I have been caring for my health so well. I have been taking supplements for years and now I drink this poison and I still get sick. How can that be possible?”

    How would you respond? Poison is poison and will always have the same effect no matter how much you have cared for yourself up til that point. This is the same with our thoughts.

    Some thoughts are deadly dangerous poison. Can you think of some? No matter how much personal work you do, in your reality you are always only as good as your very last thought.

    You can’t afford to indulge in dangerous thinking that undermines your self-worth.

    I encourage you to… keep a careful watch on your thoughts about yourself and others. You must guard your thinking well and that will never change.

what stirs you

WHAT STIRS YOU?

PAY ATTENTTION TO WHAT STIRS YOU. THAT'S ABOUT YOU. IT'S NEVER ABOUT THEM. THIS ALLOWS YOU TO CHANGE AS YOU PLEASE.

Our unconscious knows what we can change so we can be our best. How it lets us know is by noticing it in others.

There is no scientific proof for this, but when you ‘be as if it is true’, it gives you great power to change and grow because it puts your attention back on you (which is all you can control and change anyway).

Try it next time you’re annoyed or admire someone – pay attention to what stirs you – what catches your attention.

Presuppose (assume) that it is about you. It’s never about them. When you notice what catches your eye in another person you can ask, “how is that true of me”? This is so valuable because, even if it is not so (that it might not be about them), you are in a position of power because you can never change them BUT you can always change you.

  • WHAT STIRS YOU?

    PAY ATTENTTION TO WHAT STIRS YOU. THAT'S ABOUT YOU. IT'S NEVER ABOUT THEM. THIS ALLOWS YOU TO CHANGE AS YOU PLEASE.

    Our unconscious knows what we can change so we can be our best. How it lets us know is by noticing it in others.

    There is no scientific proof for this, but when you ‘be as if it is true’, it gives you great power to change and grow because it puts your attention back on you (which is all you can control and change anyway).

    Try it next time you’re annoyed or admire someone – pay attention to what stirs you – what catches your attention.

    Presuppose (assume) that it is about you. It’s never about them. When you notice what catches your eye in another person you can ask, “how is that true of me”? This is so valuable because, even if it is not so (that it might not be about them), you are in a position of power because you can never change them BUT you can always change you.

busy living

BUSY LIVING OR BUSY DYING

BUSY LIVING OR BUSY DYING

Life isn’t about getting it ‘right’. Life is messy and it’s supposed to be.

The only failure – real failure – is not having a go.

If not, what’s the point?

As Stephen King said, “Get busy living or get busy dying”.

Which do you choose?

  • BUSY LIVING OR BUSY DYING

    BUSY LIVING OR BUSY DYING

    Life isn’t about getting it ‘right’. Life is messy and it’s supposed to be.

    The only failure – real failure – is not having a go.

    If not, what’s the point?

    As Stephen King said, “Get busy living or get busy dying”.

    Which do you choose?

choose energy of life

CHOOSE THE ENERGY OF LIFE

Negative thoughts and emotions such as anger, annoyance and frustration harm ourselves more than the person we think deserving of our judgment, because they must pass and be held in our mind and body first.

Their nature is wholly destructive. Each and every negative thought about yourself or another draws upon our reserves, and impacts our immune system. This is a practical way of recognising their destructive power.

The Dalai Lama wisely says that an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy our humanity, but anger can.

Anger is the enemy of your life. Instead of guarding against and rejecting negative thoughts, we often nurture and reinforce them.

So, no matter how stupid, rude, wrong or otherwise someone might judge another’s behaviour, I deserve better than to abuse myself with the energy of anger.

No! I will remain on guard and choose the energy of LIFE.

You too?

  • CHOOSE THE ENERGY OF LIFE

    Negative thoughts and emotions such as anger, annoyance and frustration harm ourselves more than the person we think deserving of our judgment, because they must pass and be held in our mind and body first.

    Their nature is wholly destructive. Each and every negative thought about yourself or another draws upon our reserves, and impacts our immune system. This is a practical way of recognising their destructive power.

    The Dalai Lama wisely says that an enemy with a weapon cannot destroy our humanity, but anger can.

    Anger is the enemy of your life. Instead of guarding against and rejecting negative thoughts, we often nurture and reinforce them.

    So, no matter how stupid, rude, wrong or otherwise someone might judge another’s behaviour, I deserve better than to abuse myself with the energy of anger.

    No! I will remain on guard and choose the energy of LIFE.

    You too?

NOW is the only time to be happy

HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE 💃🤲

Most people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, like when things go our way; we get that job, someone appreciates us, we find that thing we lost. But if we want to be successful in life, we need to cultivate happiness because happiness fuels success, not the other way around.

Although psychologist, Sonja Lyubomirsky, suggests roughly 50 % of our happiness is genetically determined , I, like many millions of us, have found myself empty of happiness. I, like millions of others, have struggled with periods of depression and anxiety, and lived with periods of debilitating panic attacks or episodes of rumination. But, I have learnt that happiness is a choice and a kind of mental filtering. AND, it is essential to develop this capacity.

Happiness is a choice and ...

⭐️‘NOW’ is the time to do it, not when future conditions are favourable.

⭐️‘NOW’ is the only time we have, so now is the time to choose to be happy, regardless of what is going on; for better or worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer.

If you are going to think of the past, let your mind linger on things that make you feel happy. If your thoughts wander into the future, let yourself dream of your heart's desire.

Rather than going through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up, make joy a choice by filtering for what things are here for you now; the air you breathe, the people who care, the things in nature that surround us, and watch your success grow.

  • HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE 💃🤲

    Most people go through life thinking that happiness is something that happens to them as a result of success or something good happening, like when things go our way; we get that job, someone appreciates us, we find that thing we lost. But if we want to be successful in life, we need to cultivate happiness because happiness fuels success, not the other way around.

    Although psychologist, Sonja Lyubomirsky, suggests roughly 50 % of our happiness is genetically determined , I, like many millions of us, have found myself empty of happiness. I, like millions of others, have struggled with periods of depression and anxiety, and lived with periods of debilitating panic attacks or episodes of rumination. But, I have learnt that happiness is a choice and a kind of mental filtering. AND, it is essential to develop this capacity.

    Happiness is a choice and ...

    ⭐️‘NOW’ is the time to do it, not when future conditions are favourable.

    ⭐️‘NOW’ is the only time we have, so now is the time to choose to be happy, regardless of what is going on; for better or worse, in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer.

    If you are going to think of the past, let your mind linger on things that make you feel happy. If your thoughts wander into the future, let yourself dream of your heart's desire.

    Rather than going through the motions in life, waiting for joy to pop up, make joy a choice by filtering for what things are here for you now; the air you breathe, the people who care, the things in nature that surround us, and watch your success grow.

you are extraordinary

Believe it or not, Einstein was not born extraordinary. He was an ordinary person who became a genius. Yes, reports have it that he was a ‘slow learner’ as a child.

It does not matter what ordinariness you might feel, you can put what you have to work and achieve amazing things - extraordinary things - once you have a strong desire for something you are passionate about.

So, how did you discover your desire? I’d love to share how you did, because not everyone has found that easy. And, if you have not found your passion, how might you, as you think about it now?

  • Believe it or not, Einstein was not born extraordinary. He was an ordinary person who became a genius. Yes, reports have it that he was a ‘slow learner’ as a child.

    It does not matter what ordinariness you might feel, you can put what you have to work and achieve amazing things - extraordinary things - once you have a strong desire for something you are passionate about.

    So, how did you discover your desire? I’d love to share how you did, because not everyone has found that easy. And, if you have not found your passion, how might you, as you think about it now?

learning can be fascinating

We say we love to learn but I have not known anyone who really enjoys getting something ‘wrong’. Let’s face it, when we have something in mind to achieve we naturally want to get it ‘right’. But to really master something the brain needs both successful attempts and failed attempts. The failed attempts highlight the bounds of a skill.

Take for example a child learning plurals in English; they say, “Dogs. Cats. Shoes.” etc and everyone is happy. They think they know plurals because there are no miss-attempts. Then they say, “Foots. Sheeps.” etc, the exceptions to the rule, and you could call these ‘mistakes’ or say they got it ‘wrong’, but actually what happened is that they can now learn when ‘s’ works and when it doesn’t. Now they have the opportunity to master plurals - or English.

This is about aiming for mastery, rather than success. Wanting to get everything ‘right’ all the time actually slows our learning and lengthens the path to mastery. So, what to do?

Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics says, “failure is essential, but watch out for negative reactions such as: frustration, aggressiveness, insecurity, loneliness, uncertainty, resentment and emptiness”.

Sounds like a weird list of emotional states to watch out for but these are indicators we are NOT learning and slowing ourselves down.

TIP: Consider what would happen if we aimed to do at least one ‘wrong’ thing a day. When I did this I found I became a lot more courageous and it really loosened the hold fear had on me.

  • We say we love to learn but I have not known anyone who really enjoys getting something ‘wrong’. Let’s face it, when we have something in mind to achieve we naturally want to get it ‘right’. But to really master something the brain needs both successful attempts and failed attempts. The failed attempts highlight the bounds of a skill.

    Take for example a child learning plurals in English; they say, “Dogs. Cats. Shoes.” etc and everyone is happy. They think they know plurals because there are no miss-attempts. Then they say, “Foots. Sheeps.” etc, the exceptions to the rule, and you could call these ‘mistakes’ or say they got it ‘wrong’, but actually what happened is that they can now learn when ‘s’ works and when it doesn’t. Now they have the opportunity to master plurals - or English.

    This is about aiming for mastery, rather than success. Wanting to get everything ‘right’ all the time actually slows our learning and lengthens the path to mastery. So, what to do?

    Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics says, “failure is essential, but watch out for negative reactions such as: frustration, aggressiveness, insecurity, loneliness, uncertainty, resentment and emptiness”.

    Sounds like a weird list of emotional states to watch out for but these are indicators we are NOT learning and slowing ourselves down.

    TIP: Consider what would happen if we aimed to do at least one ‘wrong’ thing a day. When I did this I found I became a lot more courageous and it really loosened the hold fear had on me.

It seems counter-intuitive that when there is more to do than time to do it, that we slow down and become present with where we are and what is before us.
Surely going slow is going to make our predicament worse.
However, the exact opposite is true. Time has a spongy quality to it; it stretches and contracts - that is how it can seem in our experience.
Remember when you were young and you couldn’t wait for …. Christmas, or your birthday or those holidays. Didn’t time seem to drag? And remember when you didn’t want something and there seemed to be a deadline: a meeting to present at, a role in a play you had to rehearse for. Didn’t it seem time flew by and you wished for more?
Telling ourselves that time is short, that we don’t have enough time, might it not be this that creates undue pressure. What if instead we took the age old advice to ‘stop and smell the roses’. Neuroscience supports this wise adage. When we become still and present; bringing our attention to the present, using our senses to help us focus on what is here, using our breath to aid us being present, we become still and quiet inside. This enables us to use our resources towards the task at hand, rather than wasting it on tense muscles and inner chatter.
Test it and see for yourself. When you feel time is short and you are tempted to go faster, take 90 seconds and:
🔵 Invite yourself to say, “I have all the time in the world. Slow down and be here”.
🔵 Ask yourself, “What do I see? What do I hear?”
🔵 Be in your breath and feel the rise and fall of your chest and tummy.
Then go about your business one thing at a time.
  • It seems counter-intuitive that when there is more to do than time to do it, that we slow down and become present with where we are and what is before us.
    Surely going slow is going to make our predicament worse.
    However, the exact opposite is true. Time has a spongy quality to it; it stretches and contracts - that is how it can seem in our experience.
    Remember when you were young and you couldn’t wait for …. Christmas, or your birthday or those holidays. Didn’t time seem to drag? And remember when you didn’t want something and there seemed to be a deadline: a meeting to present at, a role in a play you had to rehearse for. Didn’t it seem time flew by and you wished for more?
    Telling ourselves that time is short, that we don’t have enough time, might it not be this that creates undue pressure. What if instead we took the age old advice to ‘stop and smell the roses’. Neuroscience supports this wise adage. When we become still and present; bringing our attention to the present, using our senses to help us focus on what is here, using our breath to aid us being present, we become still and quiet inside. This enables us to use our resources towards the task at hand, rather than wasting it on tense muscles and inner chatter.
    Test it and see for yourself. When you feel time is short and you are tempted to go faster, take 90 seconds and:
    🔵 Invite yourself to say, “I have all the time in the world. Slow down and be here”.
    🔵 Ask yourself, “What do I see? What do I hear?”
    🔵 Be in your breath and feel the rise and fall of your chest and tummy.
    Then go about your business one thing at a time.
I believe we all are leaders in some area of our lives. You don't need to have a position of leadership for this to be so. As a mum I need to take the lead - be the leader. Even as a friend, at times, it’s valuable to display leadership.
What I have learnt from coaching leaders in various forms, from all around the world, is that ‘leadership’ is about being in a way that attracts people to you – they are magnetically drawn and joined to you. Then as you go ahead, they simply come along.
The way you relate and how you manage yourself are key elements of what you need to do - ‘WHAT’ you need to do to create that ‘Magnetism’. ‘HOW’ to do it, with grace and ease, that is a whole other challenge.
But, doesn’t Magnetism sound like a rich and fun way to live and lead?
  • I believe we all are leaders in some area of our lives. You don't need to have a position of leadership for this to be so. As a mum I need to take the lead - be the leader. Even as a friend, at times, it’s valuable to display leadership.
    What I have learnt from coaching leaders in various forms, from all around the world, is that ‘leadership’ is about being in a way that attracts people to you – they are magnetically drawn and joined to you. Then as you go ahead, they simply come along.
    The way you relate and how you manage yourself are key elements of what you need to do - ‘WHAT’ you need to do to create that ‘Magnetism’. ‘HOW’ to do it, with grace and ease, that is a whole other challenge.
    But, doesn’t Magnetism sound like a rich and fun way to live and lead?
For us to reach our potential we do have to dream and act on that. But belief - beliefs - they are like the foundations of a house. After we embark on a cause of action that is aligned with what we really, truly, deeply want, it is essential that we stay steady in a state of positive belief about the possibility for success, belief in ourselves and our belief in others.
Magic happens when we believe and even if it doesn’t turn out how we would want, it is a hell of a lot better than undermining our efforts, and the efforts of others by introducing doubt. Doubt, on the other hand, is like a cancer that eats away at our efforts and energy.
So, given the role of belief; that it is such an essential ingredient in success, let’s question ourselves: how am I believing - really believing in myself and others?
  • For us to reach our potential we do have to dream and act on that. But belief - beliefs - they are like the foundations of a house. After we embark on a cause of action that is aligned with what we really, truly, deeply want, it is essential that we stay steady in a state of positive belief about the possibility for success, belief in ourselves and our belief in others.
    Magic happens when we believe and even if it doesn’t turn out how we would want, it is a hell of a lot better than undermining our efforts, and the efforts of others by introducing doubt. Doubt, on the other hand, is like a cancer that eats away at our efforts and energy.
    So, given the role of belief; that it is such an essential ingredient in success, let’s question ourselves: how am I believing - really believing in myself and others?

I don’t know about you, but I have found the answer to ALL my life’s problems is ‘Self Mastery’.

It does all stem from me and my thoughts. It isn’t that I create EVERYTHING - I'm not that egotistical - I am not the centre of the universe.

BUT, the solution to every problem I face does begin with my mind-set: how I approach or respond to the problem.

If I can be mindful of my mind and the meaning I am making, that directly affects my emotions and how I will be able to manage any problems I encounter in life.

So here is the mind hack for solving all your problems:

More often than not, if you will…
Check your thinking,
Clear your mind, and Choose a quality belief,
The quicker you’ll … get on with mastering YOU.

  • I don’t know about you, but I have found the answer to ALL my life’s problems is ‘Self Mastery’.

    It does all stem from me and my thoughts. It isn’t that I create EVERYTHING - I'm not that egotistical - I am not the centre of the universe.

    BUT, the solution to every problem I face does begin with my mind-set: how I approach or respond to the problem.

    If I can be mindful of my mind and the meaning I am making, that directly affects my emotions and how I will be able to manage any problems I encounter in life.

    So here is the mind hack for solving all your problems:

    More often than not, if you will…
    Check your thinking,
    Clear your mind, and Choose a quality belief,
    The quicker you’ll … get on with mastering YOU.

“I’m going to lose weight/get fit/become …”.

Ever said something like that? I have. It feels frustrating because I want change, but nothing has happened. Nothing's changed except I've MADE A DECISION.

I look down and see the fat rolls still there. I check in and still feel heavy and uncomfortable. I said this to someone yesterday and LOL was their response, “Yes, me too”. But if I REALLY want it and I have truly made the decision to have the result, then actions are required - AND a bit of persistence and patience.

It isn’t the decision that creates the change or gets the result, it is the little and consistent actions towards the desired goal that creates the results. Stay focused on your actions and the results come along. Wouldn’t you agree?

  • “I’m going to lose weight/get fit/become …”.

    Ever said something like that? I have. It feels frustrating because I want change, but nothing has happened. Nothing's changed except I've MADE A DECISION.

    I look down and see the fat rolls still there. I check in and still feel heavy and uncomfortable. I said this to someone yesterday and LOL was their response, “Yes, me too”. But if I REALLY want it and I have truly made the decision to have the result, then actions are required - AND a bit of persistence and patience.

    It isn’t the decision that creates the change or gets the result, it is the little and consistent actions towards the desired goal that creates the results. Stay focused on your actions and the results come along. Wouldn’t you agree?

Let's face it, life is full of things that we would rather we didn't have to do, but we do; like going to the toilet.

Imagine if you have a loooooooong conversation with yourself about that - EVERY time! But we don't ....most of the time. Usually, knowing that it is non negotiable, we just get on with it, don't we?

Well, if there is something that you need to do THAT IS really important, imagine what will happen if you just got on with it - no conversation - no thought - just simple action. Some things are that important, aren't they?

  • Let's face it, life is full of things that we would rather we didn't have to do, but we do; like going to the toilet.

    Imagine if you have a loooooooong conversation with yourself about that - EVERY time! But we don't ....most of the time. Usually, knowing that it is non negotiable, we just get on with it, don't we?

    Well, if there is something that you need to do THAT IS really important, imagine what will happen if you just got on with it - no conversation - no thought - just simple action. Some things are that important, aren't they?

Rewind back to December 2013:

What a euphoric feeling … after 20 years of planning and breeding our dreams have come true. We have the mare and filly of our dreams.

Today is a whole other story. This morning we woke to find our world turned upside down … the mare is on the ground – something is wrong. It’s heart wrenching and there is little to do but wait and hope.

In times like these, it’s useful to pause and remember the bigger picture – the hidden treasure in all we do. You see, there is always a ‘VALUE’ we’re seeking to satisfy through the goals we are striving to attain. And when we shift our focus to this it makes life’s roller coaster ride much safer. So, I ask, “WHAT AM I REALLY SEEKING TO ACHIEVE?

❓ Is it the ‘JOY’ of seeing foals in the paddock? Then I can let go of the external result and step into ‘joy’ of remembering all that we have.

❓ Is it the ‘SUCCESS’ of having achieved something challenging? Then I can let go of the external result and step into a feeling of ‘success’ remembering all we’ve overcome.

❓ Is it feeling ‘WORTHY’ for having made a contribution to a once endangered breed? Again, I can let go of the external result and step into my ‘self-worth’, knowing I contribute in many ways just by being here on the planet. It doesn’t change what will happen with our mare, but it allows me to stay steady and focus on what needs to be done. How will it benefit you to discover the ‘VALUE’ underlying your goals?

2022: How this story turned out... The mare passed that day. Hans slept in the stables, hand feeding the baby. Now she is grown and we are crossing everything for her to have a foal this year.

  • Rewind back to December 2013:

    What a euphoric feeling … after 20 years of planning and breeding our dreams have come true. We have the mare and filly of our dreams.

    Today is a whole other story. This morning we woke to find our world turned upside down … the mare is on the ground – something is wrong. It’s heart wrenching and there is little to do but wait and hope.

    In times like these, it’s useful to pause and remember the bigger picture – the hidden treasure in all we do. You see, there is always a ‘VALUE’ we’re seeking to satisfy through the goals we are striving to attain. And when we shift our focus to this it makes life’s roller coaster ride much safer. So, I ask, “WHAT AM I REALLY SEEKING TO ACHIEVE?

    ❓ Is it the ‘JOY’ of seeing foals in the paddock? Then I can let go of the external result and step into ‘joy’ of remembering all that we have.

    ❓ Is it the ‘SUCCESS’ of having achieved something challenging? Then I can let go of the external result and step into a feeling of ‘success’ remembering all we’ve overcome.

    ❓ Is it feeling ‘WORTHY’ for having made a contribution to a once endangered breed? Again, I can let go of the external result and step into my ‘self-worth’, knowing I contribute in many ways just by being here on the planet. It doesn’t change what will happen with our mare, but it allows me to stay steady and focus on what needs to be done. How will it benefit you to discover the ‘VALUE’ underlying your goals?

    2022: How this story turned out... The mare passed that day. Hans slept in the stables, hand feeding the baby. Now she is grown and we are crossing everything for her to have a foal this year.

A new year, a new start. I love this quote and hope that it inspires you to pay attention to all the things you love and want to do.

The team at debMaes TLC hopes this year bring you health, love and abundance - in all the ways you desire.

Love and blessings till we see you.

  • A new year, a new start. I love this quote and hope that it inspires you to pay attention to all the things you love and want to do.

    The team at debMaes TLC hopes this year bring you health, love and abundance - in all the ways you desire.

    Love and blessings till we see you.

Christmas eve...

Whether you can be with those dear in your heart, OR not;

Whether you are able to exchange gifts that symbolise love, OR not;

Whether this is an important time for you OR just another day;

Whatever this time means to you, warmly and deeply the debMaes TLC team wishes you and all yours health, love and wealth.

  • Christmas eve...

    Whether you can be with those dear in your heart, OR not;

    Whether you are able to exchange gifts that symbolise love, OR not;

    Whether this is an important time for you OR just another day;

    Whatever this time means to you, warmly and deeply the debMaes TLC team wishes you and all yours health, love and wealth.

George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself.
Life is about creating yourself”.

I understand where he is coming from – you have to take action to create, but I love how aptly Dr Seuss said, “There’s no one alive that is YOUer than YOU” .

Having conducted thousands of coaching sessions, with people from all walks of life across the globe, I’ve often found the light bulb moment is when they realize they already are and have always been, all they need to be.

Though, there are lots of things that take us away from ourselves and so finding our way home to ourselves and then loving and enjoying this, this IS what life and living is all about.

What are some of the ways you can continue to …find you and celebrate YOU… even more?

  • George Bernard Shaw said, “Life isn’t about finding yourself.
    Life is about creating yourself”.

    I understand where he is coming from – you have to take action to create, but I love how aptly Dr Seuss said, “There’s no one alive that is YOUer than YOU” .

    Having conducted thousands of coaching sessions, with people from all walks of life across the globe, I’ve often found the light bulb moment is when they realize they already are and have always been, all they need to be.

    Though, there are lots of things that take us away from ourselves and so finding our way home to ourselves and then loving and enjoying this, this IS what life and living is all about.

    What are some of the ways you can continue to …find you and celebrate YOU… even more?

Back in November 2012, when I posted my very first post, OMG, how nervous I was – how long it took.

I had a lot of reasons not to; no experience with writing, my ideas are not good enough, I haven’t done any research, I haven’t any training, I wasn’t ready.

But, a dear and insightful friend, Tristan Soames, dared me to make a start and I did. Now, I still don’t feel sure or confident, BUT (sounding like Pooh Bear inside my head) I can say, “I’m a lot gooder than I was, I’m much more ready to be ready and it’s good enough for lots”.

I am living, and I get that life to do stuff. THAT, is enough for life.

No, for LIFE, enough is not even a thing. I am living, so I am doing; all I had to do was make a start.

IS there something you’d like to do that you could start?

  • Back in November 2012, when I posted my very first post, OMG, how nervous I was – how long it took.

    I had a lot of reasons not to; no experience with writing, my ideas are not good enough, I haven’t done any research, I haven’t any training, I wasn’t ready.

    But, a dear and insightful friend, Tristan Soames, dared me to make a start and I did. Now, I still don’t feel sure or confident, BUT (sounding like Pooh Bear inside my head) I can say, “I’m a lot gooder than I was, I’m much more ready to be ready and it’s good enough for lots”.

    I am living, and I get that life to do stuff. THAT, is enough for life.

    No, for LIFE, enough is not even a thing. I am living, so I am doing; all I had to do was make a start.

    IS there something you’d like to do that you could start?

‘Am I good enough?’. This is a meaningless question really, when you think about it. It is with the mind that we can wonder about our worth.

But, we only need to see a newborn to be reminded just how exquisite life is. When we see a baby - of any species - we don’t wonder if they are good enough.

We don’t stand off at a distance, waiting to see if they will do something to be worthy of our love. ‘Enough’, doesn’t exist in our heart. Enoughness has nothing to do with it. We are and so we are exquisite.

This is the KNOWING that is deep inside. If we will still our mind and go deeper within, that is the truth you will find there. YOU ARE - I AM, and so today I celebrate. 

  • ‘Am I good enough?’. This is a meaningless question really, when you think about it. It is with the mind that we can wonder about our worth.

    But, we only need to see a newborn to be reminded just how exquisite life is. When we see a baby - of any species - we don’t wonder if they are good enough.

    We don’t stand off at a distance, waiting to see if they will do something to be worthy of our love. ‘Enough’, doesn’t exist in our heart. Enoughness has nothing to do with it. We are and so we are exquisite.

    This is the KNOWING that is deep inside. If we will still our mind and go deeper within, that is the truth you will find there. YOU ARE - I AM, and so today I celebrate. 

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We acknowledge the Kamilaroi people as the traditional custodians of the land on which we work and live. We recognise the strength, resilience and capacity of our Aboriginal community. We have the utmost respect for the Elders past, present and future. We aspire to join equally with our indigenous brothers and sisters in working to create a healthy and productive environment for the whole of our community.

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